Real Men Eat Bacon

Sunday, May 15, 2011

I’m convinced there are far, far fewer differences between men and women than popular opinion* would have us believe. But, before I clamber atop a soap-box that I happen to have prepared earlier, let me steer this pondering in a slightly less controversial direction for today... towards food.
While most of the men I know (and, certainly, the one I’m married to) don’t rate recieving flowers terribly all that highly on the list of preferred ways to be spoiled, these ones might go over quite a bit better with the gents and the ladies...

Bacon roses from Instructables
Bacon roses from Instructables

Would a rose by any other name smell as... salty?

If you want to capture that just-eaten-a-rose feeling but don’t have a bouquet handy, this might be the answer...

J&Ds bacon lip balm
Bacon lip balm by J&D's (picture via Loft 965)

I’m a little divided on the lip balm, I must confess. To some, the very idea might be a bridge too far. But stashed in my handbag (in addition to a portmanteau and a medium-sized walrus**) are the following lip balms in the following flavours: Coca-Cola, chocolate (M&Ms, to be specific) and lemon-flavoured Skittles. Sweet tooth, much? While a slick of lip balm’s never going to triumph over a dollop of ganache, the availability of the former does seem to make it a little easier to resist over-indulgence in the latter. And yet, savoury lip balm just doesn’t seem quite right – I can’t shake the thought that it might just feel a little like the aftermath of a greasy fry-up for breakfast (perhaps that could make it a perfect hangover cure, though!). And it might be a not-entirely-welcome surprise for your significant other. Unless they’re the type to send you bacon...

P.S. It might be untoward to end without an honourable mention to Chocolatesuze, whose husband took over her blog to contemplate sending pizza on Valentine’s day instead of flowers. If you can’t have a bunch of irises, thin and crispy cheesy goodness might be an admirable alternative, I think!

* And by popular opinion, I might be focusing entirely too much on the tattle rags. 
** By all means laugh, but they’re very handy to hide behind in a crisis or a stiff breeze. And, if there isn’t a walrus in there, then what on earth is making it so damn heavy...?

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