Sweet Dreams

In the list of trade-offs to try and do seven impossible things before breakfast, sleep is almost always the first thing to go (and that's before reconciling myself to the notion that sometimes, doing two and a bit things by afternoon tea is as good as it's going to get). Sticky Penguin, brought to you by an Awful Lot Of Caffeine - so much that it requires capital letters to convey just how much.

But, even after going to bed, sleep can be elusive. There are things to think about, to worry about, to plan. Terribly pressing matters of global significance, like what sort of filling should go in the next batch of brownies, when on earth I'll get my Daring Bakers done, and whether wearing black to work three days out of five is unimaginative. And the dreams that follow can sometimes be much the same...

Would those dreams be that much sweeter if you went to sleep snuggled in crisp, clean layers of... chocolate?

Chocolate sheets from Bed Toppings 

(not to be confused with bed hopping, which is something else entirely - or so I hear)

The pillows are the same sort of too-cute-for-words as Japanese food erasers (and if you've noticed the new profile picture lately, you might spot a certain weakness there!)...

Chocolate pillow case from Bed Toppings 

Sadly, they're only available for kids - the size of kids that sleep in single beds, that is. Those of us bigger kids who dream of dozing off in more of a family-sized block of chocolate will just have to... keep dreaming.

Bed Toppings was discovered while pottering on hardtofind.com.au - source of all sorts of distractions and covetable (or, in this case, duvetable? Nope, that really doesn't work...), and which hasn't had anything to do with this post - the only sort of sponsoring of penguins happens here.

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Sometimes It’s A Table

Not having a proper dining table can be a nuisance and a half. Our postage-stamp-sized table barely accommodates two people and their plates, and only if they keep their elbows to themselves. Side plates and condiments are entirely out of the question. Consequently, the table is apt to become a respository for files, handbags, post and assorted flotsam and jetsam. Meals get eaten on laps, food gets photographed on the ottoman or the kitchen counter, and visitors get a rather more casual dining experience than I might wish for*.

Wouldn’t it be convenient if you could have an enormous dining table just when you needed it? And then it magically disappeared after you were done. Nothing as pedestrian as disguising it as a table tennis table, using it as a desk, or folding it up into a cupboard. As an added bonus, it could even turn into something else useful (and preferably small). Like an ice cream machine. Or a cat!**

What I need is a periodic table...

Periodic table by Jackson Morley via Josie Morway

If I had one, I could do matching cookies to celebrate, like these beauties...

Periodic table cookies from Not So Humble Pie (she has a great collection of scientific baking, for anybody so inclined); Pratofundo has a beautiful set of periodic table cookies, too

Or I could just keep wishing for a cat. It might be more likely!

* With the possible and occasional exception of a harried and sticky penguin bustling round the kitchen.
** It makes sense if you think about it, especially if you have a cat who is wary of visitors and who hides in another room. Even more so if you have a trifle-eating cat, as it would certainly stop him from jumping onto the table... although perhaps portions of dinner would also mysteriously disappear!

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Let Sleeping Penguins Lie

Hibernating sometimes sounds a very attractive idea... a cosy little corner to sleep in for a long period of time while the less appealing bits of nature pass by outside. But for a penguin, it'd make so much more sense to sleep through the summer, and come out once it cools down a bit*...

Bears via Things Organized Neatly

Until I found this illustration, it had never occurred to me to attempt to organise a bear, neatly or otherwise. And I also hadn't known that not all bears hibernate. It seems to be a characteristic of those who live in places that get unpleasantly cold, but not utterly freezing (otherwise polar bears might sleep all year round). And a sloth hibernating would just be... superfluous.

Although for somebody who struggles with taking far too much luggage on holiday, deciding on the necessary accoutrements for hibernation could be a challenge. Somewhere comfy to sit (or sleep) would, of course, be essential. Like a beanbag, maybe...

Bear beanbag from Chic Sin Design

Or perhaps somewhere with lots of good books within easy reach...

Bibliochaise from Nobody & Co via Interior Decorating Home. It doesn't look like the most comfortable armchair I've ever seen, but it's a great idea

And perhaps a large picnic basket. would come in handy, too With lots of chocolate...

* Biology, under such a theory, may well go directly to hell in a hand basket. But it's an appealing idea, in any case!

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Through A Glass Jar, Not So Darkly

All those rows and shelves of jewel-coloured jams, preserves, sauces and mysterious-but-oh-so-enticing condiments are one of the things I love about providores and gourmet grocers*. They shine with sugary promise, and have the same I’ll-take-one-in-every-colour allure as crisp stacks of Kookai t-shirts and Sambag ballet flats.

The glistening richness of the essence of the fruits distilled into a glass jar makes you want to hold it up to the light as if you’ll still be able to capture an outline of the plump forms that went into it, or see tiny worlds spinning inside. It can be almost a little hypnotic when stirring pans of home-made jam or syrup (which is when you stop paying attention and end up with a sticky mess).

The Marmeled jelly lamp gives out the same luminous glow...

Marmeled lamp from Semiki Studio via Design Fetish

It’s refreshing to see food-inspired design that isn’t either too cute for words (all those cupcakes!) or better suited to a children’s room than a modern apartment. The red one’s my favourite (although the online shop doesn’t seem to have it, only a pink equivalent), with orange a very close second.

Picture from jellylamp.com

I think they’d be a great addition to warm up a murky corner at home. Or perhaps a row of them on a shelf in the kitchen – they’d also avoid that slightly abandoned look that kitchens sometimes take on once the lights are turned out.

* For some funny reason, jars of mass-produced stuff under fluorescent lighting in gigantic supermarkets just don’t have the same effect... can’t imagine why!

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Whichever Way You Cut It

Would Shakespeare in the kitchen make you bored? Or board?

Some objects seem so utilitarian and unremarkable that, although there are occasional attempts to improve their efficiency*, most of us never think about how they could be made more beautiful. Or even just a little less unremarkable. They come to resemble inanimate maths teachers – all substance and not enough style**. Chopping boards would certainly be on that list of objects (although they’re so unremarkable that they might inadvertently be forgotten, except when they clatter over in the kitchen cupboard and make us jump***).

And then I found this...

Romeo and Julienne chopping board from Atypyk Paris via Design Fetish

I think it looks wonderful – simple, natural, not overcomplicated... and most importantly, with a sense of humour****. But. But...*****

It makes it take up more space. Which a commodity that’s likely to be at a significant premium in most kitchens. And, even when you scrub or wip your chopping board with the greatest of vigilance, it tends to still be a little damp, or to carry a faint scent of ingredients past (especially the wooden ones). Do you really want that cosying up beside your beloved collection of recipe books?

If it could be used to store other chopping-related accoutrements inside (blades for food processors and small zesters and other bits that never find a comfortable home), I’d be one step closer to convinced. But it would still need to be easy to clean, and not have to be emptied out after every onion was diced.

So, would you rather that your kitchen gear be utilitarian and unremarkable, or have a bit more character (with its attendant flaws)?

* In the kitchen, these redesigns can have a nasty habit of leading to the item doing one thing really well, and if you want to do any of the other things it used to do just adequately, you have to have a whole pile of other uni-purpose stuff cluttering up the kitchen.
** In the unlikely event of any incredibly stylish maths teachers reading this, you should be so used to challenging the stereotype that you aren’t offended. I had been going to say accountants, but that’s just a whole pile of penguins in suitcases that I’m not even going to go near...
*** Or is that just me? Baggage about accountancy and jumping at kitchen equipment... my, we are antsy today!
**** Never mind women supposedly making lists of what we look for in a partner – some of us even have criteria for our apparently highly anthropomorphic kitchen tools. Picky, much?
***** Because whenever there’s a list, there’s always a But.

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If One Milk Bottle Should Accidentally Fall...

On the eighth day of Christmas my penguin gave to me...

Eight milk bottles,

Seven owls (just seven?),

Six roasted chickens,

Five golden pastries,

Four wobbling jellies,

Three French badgers,

Two turtle bars,

And a pelican in a pear tree

I don’t understand the fuss about milk.

It’s an unwelcome distraction from important dairy options like ice cream, yogurt and, most importantly, cheese. All sorts of cakes, sauces, puddings, porridges and especially custards need it to exist, but that just makes it an ingredient, albeit a very useful one. And, just as I wouldn’t want to go and eat a cup of flour, I don’t want to go and drink a cup of milk. Unless you pair it with an equal amount of melted chocolate, and then I’m more than happy to consider it.

Even when small, as soon as somebody asked me if I wanted some milk, rather than it being, first, a biological necessity and, later, an assumed and unavoidable requirement, I leapt at the chance to avoid unadulterated cowiness ever after.

So it seems almost a pity to waste milk bottles on, well... milk.

There are vintage ones...

Picture via Living Room Spot

Some of them come in little baskets...

Au Lait via Lushlee

There are ceramic ones which combine a sturdy shape with an air of delicate fragility...

Milk bottle from Alyssa Ettinger on Etsy via Tartelette and Oh, Hello, Friend

Or cheery patterned ones...

Milk bottles from Robert Gordon via Imprintables

There are more sophisticated painted ones...

Flower painted bottle vases from Angus and Celeste via The Finders Keepers

You can put interesting bits and pieces in them...

Milk bottles from Three Potato Four's shop

There are even some trying to get away with being cartons...

Milk "carton" by Sorbet Living via Not On The High Street

And there are lots of beautiful coloured ones...

Bison milk bottles* via Ohara Design Group

... which, of course, come from Bison. Because so many lovely things do (you'd be positively mad to miss them!).

* Suitable for a wide range of decorative and purposeful uses... not just bison milk...

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Eating In Bed

Whether and what to eat in bed can be a divided question... For some, breakfast in bed is the ultimate indolent indulgence; for others, it just equals crumbs and bother.

I think that the idea is probably preferable to the actuality although, as ever, there are exceptions. Cups of tea in bed can only ever be perfect, and snacking when treating the bed as an afternoon retreat with a pile of magazines can also be different (on the bed, rather than in it, is critical to avoidance of those crumbs).

But after finding these pictures, I think this version of eating in bed might be irresistible...

Picture: "Tie Dyed" Cookies from The Hungry Housewife

Picture: Jonathan Adler "Pink Flame" bedding, via Simply Stated

For these, I think I could handle the risk of crumbs in bed! Because I do so love feather icing.

This might be turning into a semi-regular "Eat With..." post. I don't know if that's because I like my food to be well designed, or that I'm still thinking about food even when looking at other things. Perhaps a little of column A and a little of column B - or is that a little of the raspberry and a little of the pistachio...?

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Only Happy When It Rains

I have a little bit of a thing about clouds. It started long before my cute little Paper Boat Press earrings...

For the days when you feel just like you’re floating on your own personal cloud, there’s this...

Chair: Lisa Widén via Lushlee

I wonder if it’s as comfy as you always imagine clouds would be, though. Perhaps you could sit on it and eat lemon meringue pie, and then you could have the entire cloud experience...

For those on a bit of a tighter budget, perhaps this would be a cute alternative…

Picture: Le Ptit Papillon on Etsy

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Stand Up For Cake

There are so many lovely cake stands out there, and while I’m still very attached to my pair of jadeite Donna Hay ones, that doesn’t stop me window shopping – or whatever the online equivalent is called. These ones caught my attention by being modern rather than the usual vintage / classic / embellished look – and because of their name...

Pictures: via The Kitchn

They’re by Koziol, and they’re called Babell*. They just create this wonderful image of towering cakes and pastries piled enticingly in tiered heaps – rather than the more restrained arrangements commonly encountered at afternoon tea.

Or you could just have such a towering cake that it completely does away with the need for a cake stand...

Picture: myrecipes.com

* Yep, spelled like that.

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Face Value

If it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck...

Picture: Urban Outfitters

... then maybe you really aren't good with mornings! If it starts walking like a duck, maybe try another coffee...

And maybe it's the English weather making me come over all Four Weddings and a Funeral, but I do think it should be called Duckface.

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Tra(y)de Offs

I can’t make my mind up about this dinner tray - is it great because it has a place for everything? Or would it drive you mad because it’d be almost impossible not to continually want to straighten that cutlery?

Tray: Royal VKB from Pelican Pear (designed by Wendy Boudewijns)

I think it’s definitely a passing distraction – it’s a little too open in admitting to eating on the couch, rather than just taking a plate and a fork over and quietly having done with it. But maybe that’s just because I’m hankering after a real dining table (not just a small repository for Stuff).

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Cone Of Silence

The first time I ever had amaretti was a very long time ago indeed – even longer in amaretti years, which are shorter than ordinary years, but gape wistfully amaretti-less in between crunchy almondy indulgences. The first time I ever had amaretti, they came out of a tin just like this one...

Picture: Metalight on Etsy

And they were perfect.

I can’t help but think that, as well as shedding light in murky corners, this pendant lamp gives a sense of the sort of cone of silence that descends during those times of peacefully almost-satisfied-but-nowhere-near-full-yet nomming that occurs in the presence of delicious things to eat...

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Relating to a Dormouse

First of all, just to be clear, relating to a dormouse is nothing at all like being related to a dormouse. Sorry, just needed to get that out of the way before beginning. There are times when life might be infinitely more peaceful if I could just crawl into a teapot (preferably not one already occupied by tea) and wait for the chaos to pass. A little like a storm shelter, but cosier and much more picturesque. With a large supply of promising looking books, plenty of tasty things to eat (tea – well, obviously! I’m in a teapot – and crumpets spring to mind, but this now appears to be becoming more Enid Blyton than Lewis Carroll. Now, there’s a literary mash-up I’d like to see – never mind Jane Austen and all those zombies...).

Picture: Apartment Therapy

It’s like a window seat grew a little house around itself... and much more useful than a garden shed. Although it also has rather tardis-like qualities in some ways. What is actually is, is a pigeonnier. And it wouldn’t fit on the balcony, so goes on the list for that alternate reality where there’s an enormous house with a garden... which somebody else looks after...

Picture: Apartment Therapy

But if the real version isn't an option, perhaps you could just have your teapot look the part - this tea cosy caught my eye on Etsy...

Picture (and knitting pattern): Periwinkle Park on Etsy

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Take All The Fun Out

Every week*, I seem to find a new quote that I love. There’s an ever-increasing list of them, including some that come beautifully printed and that I would love to hang on the wall. Although there are so many that I’d need a bit of a revolving door of them. Or to get the hang of those walls with lots of pictures in different shapes and sizes – another one of those things that looks wonderful in magazines and blogs, but would look all sorts of wrong if I tried it in my apartment...

Picture: Domino via Shelter

As well as quotes though, there’s a bit of a current trend for “instructive” posters. Like those keep calm ones. Some of them are so silly as to keep a satisfying level of recalcitrance about themselves...

Picture: John W Golden on Etsy

But others just risk being taken entirely too seriously. Or actually being that serious. This one, while it gave me the giggles, was one of those...

Picture: 3 Lambs Graphics on Etsy

And this one is just never going to happen...

Picture: Pedlars

I think if I saw one of those in somebody’s house, I’d be thinking of escaping out the bathroom window. It’s one of those signs**. Like men wearing white socks with black shoes. No how, no way.

Couldn’t resist a few more art walls. Just because...

Picture: Domino via Shelter

Picture: We Heart It via Belle Maison

Picture: Country Homes & Interiors via House To Home

Of course, art walls and keeping calm aren't mutually exclusive...

Picture: Productivity Goal

* Sometimes ever day, but then I know I’m being Far Too Unproductive...
** Literally, of course, but also figuratively.

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Wanting A Badger Doesn't Come Cheap

The Weekend Australian Magazine often has some interesting places on its real estate page, but a recent issue surpassed all expectations...

Oh, that looks pretty. Hang on... nooooo. It can't be. But it is. It's in...

WANTABADGERY...

Imagine living in a town called Wantabadgery - that would just be too good for words! And property in Wantabadgery (this one, at least) clearly carries a hefty price tag. $10 million... you'd want to get a lot of badgers for that kind of cash...

Better get down to Wantabadgery quick, before it goes.

Picture: Sky Kite on Flickr

Although the way this badger's moving, he might be after the hovering cats, instead...

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Seeing The Light... Then Eating It

Too much thinking about food can result in losing the capacity for rational thought, and considering buying lots of things that take up space and won’t get used much. A madeleine pan? Of course I need something that can only get used for making one thing. One thing that is unlikely to be made all that often. Why not!

Picture: BootsNGus on Etsy

Much as I love the idea of just moving into the Bay Tree, I can’t quite decide whether this is the right side of whimsical-and-baking-obsessed. In the right house, it might work perfectly – lots of white cabinetry, a scrubbed wooden table, and copper pans on hooks.

Although rational thought hasn't deserted me so much that I think it could be got away with in my slightly less spacious kitchen...

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No Accounting For Taste

Some design trends which make perfect sense and become classics (blue and white, for instance, or Tolix chairs*). Others which are everywhere for a while, but look great despite their ubiquity, leaving me wishing I’d thought of it before (currently maps and globes). And some that are initially distracting, but better left in magazines** (Keep Calm posters, bell jars, walls of plates). At least when you live in my apartment.

But there are some fashions in what people put in their houses which I just don’t understand. Leaving aside the slippery slope of taste, money, too much gold*** and far too much clutter, the latest idea that mystifies me is abacuses. One was a curiosity, two was unexpected, but three threatens to be the start of an avalanche.

Picture: Apartment Therapy

There are lots of old, formerly or barely still functional things that I think can look great as decoration. Vintage typewriters. Old suitcases. Telescopes. Heaps of things. But I don’t understand why anybody would want an abacus. Even if it was an ancient Incan artifact, you’d have to think the Incans might have had something a bit more enjoyable that could have been chosen instead. Perhaps it’s that I like my home to be relaxing, and the associations with numbers just don’t seem to be...

Picture: Manolo for the Home

Other sorts of functional things are a vague association with trips to be taken, novels to be written, thought to be thought, and the interesting lives that the items have been through. Abacuses just seem like a bit too much of a reminder of bank statements to be checked, bills to be filed, things to be measured and organised.

Just because it's the end of financial year doesn't mean you have to take it home with you, after all...

Picture: DC by Design

This might be taking the idea of counting things to fall asleep entirely too literally... Just imagine – you’d end up dreaming about numbers... eep!

Picture: Second Storey View

There are just two circumstances I can think of where abacuses might just be OK...

... if they had little sheep on them instead of beads... just imagine...

Picture: via Down The Tubes

... and if there were edible abacuses, with macarons for beads. Like the gourmet / design version of candy necklaces...

Picture: Lovely Lozenge on Flickr (don't they just look like little macarons?)

* There might need to be a whole other contemplation of those...
** Or the undefined Somebody Else’s House.
*** And that might well be any...

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